When you think about it, the traditional way of shopping on Black Friday basically combines all of the worst things on the planet: early mornings, people in sweat pants, crowds. We didn’t actually think waking up at ass-crack-30 and fighting a bunch of housewives for a toaster would appeal to Betches, did we? Of course not.
You might think you want to go shopping on Black Friday, but you could be wrong. Here’s why:
There’s that scene in Mean Girls where the Plastics go shopping at the mall and in 2004, we were all like, OK, that makes sense. But it’s 2016 and malls are basically over as far as we’re concerned. Do you ever meet up with your friends at the mall? Probz not. You know who hangs out at the mall now? High schoolers and also creepy dudes who still think hot girls go to the mall. Pass on shopping at the mall, always.
Unless you’re a total psycho, you probably hate crowds. They’re the absolute worst. I don’t know if you know this, but the internet lets you shop from home. Not only do you get to stay warm at home, you also don’t have to deal with any other people. Why would you stand in the freezing cold for hours to risk getting trampled by a bunch of crazy people for a pair of discounted jeans when you could just stay home, get a better discount, and also not put pants on. It’s really a no-brainer.
You could wake up before the sun rises to get 30% off some bomb accessories, or you could stay in, make yourself a vat of iced coffee and/or wine, wear your pajamas and do your shopping from home to get the same deal. I’m actually surprised that anyone would consider going out on Black Friday at all when sweatpants exist. Yeah, you could go shopping in pajamas or sweats that day, but we’re definitely going to judge you. By that, I mean, just don’t do it. Say no to public use of pajamas. Say yes to private use of pajamas and staying inside.
You know how you wouldn’t buy a new skirt without asking your friends if it looked good on you first? Reviews are kind of like having a bunch of friends who already own all the stuff you want to buy telling you if it will look good on your or not. You get super trustworthy advice from the strangers who make these reviews because they don’t care about you enough to lie. They get to vent about things they like or don’t like about products, and you get to decide to buy something based on that. Cool.
It totally sucks when you find something in store, but there’s like one size left and its an XXXS. Like, WTF, right? The cool thing about shopping online is that there are ususally always more sizes to choose from, and you basically always know you’re getting the best deal. Sales show up automatically, it’s pretty much like magic.